I am preparing for my son to come home. He has now been clean for 22 days. When he comes home on Friday it will be a few more. It is scary. When I decided to blog about my experience, I wanted to name my blog "heroin sucks". Nothing says it better. I have watched it quickly reduce my son to someone who's main goal in life everyday was to get enough heroin to either get high or get him through the day until he could get high, and not suffer any withdrawal symptoms. What happened to my brilliant, promising young man? I think he is still there. I know he is still there, he has just got to be able to recognize himself.
Years ago we went through several rough years with our teenage daughter. It created chaos in our home. It almost destroyed my marriage. And I don't want to be back there. Dealing with an adult is going to be so different. I have read blog after blog trying to permanently imprint on my brain that his recovery will not belong to me. I am going to have a tough time with that. I've always been able to make my baby better. It's my job as a Mom, right? Well, can't do it this time.
I am so glad we can be here for him and help him start his journey in life as a sober person. I am optimistic, but guarded. I have heard all of the stories at meetings about people who relapse. Please, let him be the one who doesn't.
Heroin, stay away!
The online community we have both found is so wonderful. Keep coming back here, the insights that everyone provides on here will be a source of strength for you. I know it has for me. Sometm=imes I dont agree with all that is posted, but I know everything written is out of love and support. I take what I need and leave the rest. I hope your day has peace. Sheri
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response, Sheri. I have read some amazing things on many blogs, including yours. Trying to take the advice I give my son - "who knows better than someone who's been there?" I wish we could have met under happier circumstances.
ReplyDeleteChanged my name to have a little more anonymity.
Honestly, I can't think of anything that sucks more than heroin. If our children had cancer they would be in treatment getting the best possible new methods to kill the cancer cells and the best part - they would still be the sons/daughters we've always known and loved. Heroin changes all that. No one can understand like another parent. I'm glad you're writing.
ReplyDelete