Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Day 4
Day 4 at home. Some things are very awkward. He's falling back in to some old habits very quickly. Sunday he went to two meetings to see which one he would like the best. At 8:30pm I got a text from him saying he had meet some cool guys at the meeting and was going out to have ice cream with them. I bawled like a baby. Two totally opposite reactions - I was so thrilled he could be excited about going out for ice cream, but I was also terrified that that is not what he was really doing. Once bitten twice shy, I guess. We talked when he got home and he was fine, but when does the mistrust go away? It probably didn't help to spend two hours reading everyone's blog posts. So much sadness. I want to believe that my son wont be like everyone else. I want him to be the one that only goes through rehab once and is successful. Need to read some success stories.
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It takes a long time to trust again. Its hard just reading this. I know how you feel, I really do. I had stop reading blogs for awhile because I got so discouraged, but in my case, the blogs were right. I thought my son would be the one that was different, who overcame fast, who did better. So far the opposite has happened. But never, ever let anyone steal your hope (including me). Each person is different. I just met a young man yesterday who stopped using long term without ever going to a rehab. Its possible!
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